No Field Goals

I want nothing and you'll never see
the very little it takes to drive me
to the brink of a stroke, it's where you live,
when I'm all full, and there's nowhere to give.

It's why my feet continue to move,
even when there's nothing to prove,
and you're reaching ahead for whatever may come
and I'm only happy when I'm down & dumb.

There's so much out there I should need,
yet only certain hungers I ever feed,
no matter how hard you're clawing away,
I'm left here waiting for the end of the day.

So just be happy with what you've got,
and don't worry until you hear the shot,
because I promise not to make such a big mess
when my desire can finally reach for no less.

Omni Presents

So I was thinking, maybe he can't see it all.
Maybe he's just been around too long
to wonder if we're praying or breaking into song,
to know whether or not we give a shit about right from wrong.

So I was hoping, maybe I'll get away with it.
Maybe it's not about eventual perfection,
but just about possibly making a connection
to forget the science of thought & natural selection.

So I was guessing, maybe there's nothing to look forward to.
Maybe omnipotence is as good as it gets
and it's less fun to get away with whatever he lets,
and all you do is take the gamble out of all your bets.

So I was begging, maybe I could lose the guilt.
Maybe my intelligence won't let me feel so down
to wonder why I'm even allowed to stick around
to beg in tears for final forgiveness before I'm rotting in the ground.

Control Denied

I'm sweating and beautifying
but inside I feel like dying.
These pictures of you just smile so hard.

I see what this work will bring me,
a new, handsome boy that I can't be,
I still can't believe you ran so far.

A heart not soft enough for you,
sad old man and what he couldn't do,
is all that's left since you walked away.

An angel in black,
who will never come back
helped me begin to die that day.

I guess I'll never make it.
I wish you would've let me fake it,
to have my own heart, but you had to break it.

In Ashes

I'm not losing my mind this time, and it all hurts so much more.
It's like finally getting off the pipe, and still going on being a whore.
I've been begging for blindness since I was old enough to see.
I swear to God, I want to die, but not with eyes not free.
Soon I know, we'll walk away, and we'll never come back.
Soon I know, I'll be obsessed, I'll be crying for some smack.
These realizations are constantly scaring the shit out of me.
I'm out of tears for that one last chance to get the fit out of me.
There's not one soul that's left, none that I can trust.
By this time next year, I know I'll turn to dust.