Heaven Isn't Far Enough

for Uncle Mark Macken (10/2/61--10/25/08), Rest in Peace


It's a shame to believe you could see me that day.
It's a shame to imagine you could see me this way.
Faith is a bitch during your final show.
It might've been easier if there was nowhere to go.

I wonder what it's like to watch us in pain.
I wonder what it's like to witness our shame.
Are you angry at how selfishly we've turned this around?
Is there any time up there to enjoy what you've found?

I guess we may never know until someday later if we meet.
I guess I'll just spend my time here on the edge of my seat.
If there's any justice, though, you won't have long to wait.
I just hope I make it there, and don't get dragged down by hate.

There's just so much left here you could've made better,
and I can't just call or write you a letter.
So I cry for a hero and wonder why you had to be it.
I sob like a lost child, knowing you'd hate to see it.

Doc

Sometimes I don't know why the things I do are the things I try.
Sometimes I don't know who I can believe; who's being true.
Sometimes the shit will fall down no matter how low you crawl.
Sometimes the shit just sinks no matter what the devil thinks.

'Sometimes I think I'm crazy. Other times I know I'm not.'*
Sometimes I think I'm lazy. Easily, I could be bought.
Sometimes the fear & pain are the only things that never change.
Sometimes there's no time left to pick them up & rearrange.

Sometimes the hate is there. It's just too difficult to care.
Sometimes the hate is gone; its absence suddenly unfair.
Sometimes I could just kill, snuff you out with my free will.
Sometimes I wish these feelings were controlled by another pill.

* "Tumult" by Stone Sour, Stone Sour (2002)

Dusted

The skin on my knuckles is caked in dirt, at least what hasn't been torn away.
The skin on my fingertips ceased to hurt when it disappeared yesterday.
The skin on my knees could spill no more blood being bent and steady so long.
The skin on my teeth was tired of mud and gave up trying to be strong.

On a long enough time line the figure is zero for all human life expectancy.
On a long enough time line every bad idea will make it out past pregnancy.
On a long enough time line everyone falls down on their knees for a god.
On a long enough time line all of the faithful decide to live in fraud.

By the end of the day, all of the breathing will end in some sort of smile.
By the end of the day, they'll all be wondering what happened to their little while.
By the end of the day, you can sit in judgment of all that cross your path.
By the end of the day, you can be with the righteous or satisfied in your wrath.