Heaven Isn't Far Enough

for Uncle Mark Macken (10/2/61--10/25/08), Rest in Peace


It's a shame to believe you could see me that day.
It's a shame to imagine you could see me this way.
Faith is a bitch during your final show.
It might've been easier if there was nowhere to go.

I wonder what it's like to watch us in pain.
I wonder what it's like to witness our shame.
Are you angry at how selfishly we've turned this around?
Is there any time up there to enjoy what you've found?

I guess we may never know until someday later if we meet.
I guess I'll just spend my time here on the edge of my seat.
If there's any justice, though, you won't have long to wait.
I just hope I make it there, and don't get dragged down by hate.

There's just so much left here you could've made better,
and I can't just call or write you a letter.
So I cry for a hero and wonder why you had to be it.
I sob like a lost child, knowing you'd hate to see it.

Doc

Sometimes I don't know why the things I do are the things I try.
Sometimes I don't know who I can believe; who's being true.
Sometimes the shit will fall down no matter how low you crawl.
Sometimes the shit just sinks no matter what the devil thinks.

'Sometimes I think I'm crazy. Other times I know I'm not.'*
Sometimes I think I'm lazy. Easily, I could be bought.
Sometimes the fear & pain are the only things that never change.
Sometimes there's no time left to pick them up & rearrange.

Sometimes the hate is there. It's just too difficult to care.
Sometimes the hate is gone; its absence suddenly unfair.
Sometimes I could just kill, snuff you out with my free will.
Sometimes I wish these feelings were controlled by another pill.

* "Tumult" by Stone Sour, Stone Sour (2002)

Dusted

The skin on my knuckles is caked in dirt, at least what hasn't been torn away.
The skin on my fingertips ceased to hurt when it disappeared yesterday.
The skin on my knees could spill no more blood being bent and steady so long.
The skin on my teeth was tired of mud and gave up trying to be strong.

On a long enough time line the figure is zero for all human life expectancy.
On a long enough time line every bad idea will make it out past pregnancy.
On a long enough time line everyone falls down on their knees for a god.
On a long enough time line all of the faithful decide to live in fraud.

By the end of the day, all of the breathing will end in some sort of smile.
By the end of the day, they'll all be wondering what happened to their little while.
By the end of the day, you can sit in judgment of all that cross your path.
By the end of the day, you can be with the righteous or satisfied in your wrath.

Prelude 1.0*

*Special thanks to SlipKnoT's "Prelude 3.0", 2004


And then all of a sudden I became depressed.
I wallowed in thoughts thought long supressed.
When I shared the tiny scars with them
the laughter rose up like a sea.
So now it's over...

Hate became the blanket of saving.
Pain is now the drug I'm craving.
When I led a journey inward
they refused to come along.
So now it's over...

I know now why I never asked you.
I don't know how I put it past you.
When I tried to be real again
you made all the parts break away.
So now it's over...

Desensitized

You sound like the bugs have taken flight.
You sound like a man crying in the night.
You swear that nothing left in here is fair,
but I heard you bless the angels in the air.

You look like you're hungry & alone.
You look like an old man by the phone.
You leave nothing to chance at any time,
but I saw you play the wheel with your last dime.

You feel like a wasted piece of meat.
You feel like you're frozen in the heat.
You lean on no one, no one's in your way.
You need nothing, but you can't go home today.

You smell like a day that had to fade.
You smell like a memory never made.
You went to make peace with all the ghosts,
but you're still at war with the one you loved the most.

You taste like a treat left in the sun.
You taste like you're burning on the run.
You fled the day that judgment sat for you,
but leaving didn't make the lies come true.

Bright Ribbons, Low Lights

For Aunt Jeanne...the good fight is never over.

They say the devil may care when all hope is gone,
but that would leve me nothing for today.
So I'm on bended knee with eyes closed to the world,
and I'm remembering how to pray.

We walk, we write letters, we hold up big signs
for all the mothers & sisters we love so much.
Sometimes there's no words, though, to cover the distance
to those hearts we need to touch.

They have fallen, they have passed, they have gone to their maker...
They've met an early grave.
But they have shown us true love, what it means to be a hero...
There are so many left we can save.

So we'll stand here together, from this day to the last,
praying for those so pure,
and we'll never stop caring and sharing the memories.
One day, we will find a cure.

Folded

Long and hard was the road we shared
that out of darkness led up to light.
Little did I know just how much you cared
because not once did I ever see you take up the fight.

Dark & frightening was the road I walked alone
each & every time you left for selfish reasons.
Sweating like a pig or chilled to the bone,
you changed your faces just like the seasons.

Satisfied in pain now is the only road I walk
and no more worries of your words fill my mind.
Not one more step or movement will you stalk
when I make my road impossible to find.